So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
