Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
