Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The air taste purple.
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