i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
