I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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