Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
