I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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