apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
