he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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