I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
honey bunches of taint.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
