I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
