Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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