you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im holly from the hills drunk
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
