Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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