Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
