I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
