ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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