I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
