About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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