It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
