Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
