So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
