Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
