Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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