those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize