just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
