yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize