His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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