if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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