Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize