Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
