This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
