that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
