my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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