i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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