I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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