I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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