There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
