I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
