Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
