She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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