I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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