whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
