You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
