i just wanna soil my oats bro
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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