90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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