He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
