were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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