I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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