I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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