I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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