when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
