It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize