You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
