I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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