Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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