Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
