my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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