No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
