I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
