I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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