I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
