just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
