that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
